“Get married. You will hate your single life in your mid 30 when all your friends would be married and have kids”.
When we hear something again and again, it becomes a by default truth. The unknown is fearful.
In our society, we don’t have enough examples of what happens to a person if s/he doesn’t get married for life. Whatever little we know are the examples of celebrities. We don’t know how an ordinary person lives without getting married. This unknown brings fear, and this fear restricts us to go out of the way and live a life (if we want to) which is not considered normal.
So here I am – into my mid 30 – and still single. How do I feel?
The answer is – I am extremely proud of my life choices. Not because I’m single but because I took that leap of faith and followed what I thought is a right way for me. I feel super happy to see my friends married and have wonderful kids and I am equally joyful for the way I live without a romantic relationship.
Is it easy to live single?
Every life choice comes with its own pros and cons. It’s relatively lot easier if you are the one who fits into such lifestyle. It’s painful if you are the one who always likes to have other people’s company and crave for a romantic love (and these are just different personality types. By no means the one is better than the other).
Being single gives you a lot of freedom. Freedom to travel. Freedom to do experiment with your lifestyle. Freedom to choose your expenses. However, freedom also comes with responsibilities. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of alcohol, drug and sex when you are alone. One needs enough self-love, patience, trust and control to keep the self away from the addictions.
Don’t hate the idea of romantic relationship due to fear of losing freedom. Don’t love the idea of romantic relationship just because you don’t know the existence of alternative way of living.
The next big question – who will take care of you when you are old (into your 60)?
I don’t know and this unknown brings a lot of fear. However, I am not going to allow this fear to force me make a life decision just for the sake of it. For now, my hope is to figure out a well operated old age home / community when I reach to that stage. Unfortunately, the dots can only be connected by looking backwards. So hopefully we’ll have an answer in my blog post “Happy 60th”! (Or who knows? I might be married and have kids by that time)
Here are the glimpse of 35th birthday celebration.