(I am not sure what exactly prompted me to write this post sitting in Illiterati cafe, Mcloadganj with other 3 solo travelers from different parts of the world)
The suggestions and gyaan of getting married and finding a life partner seems to be a never ending saga. No matter at which age you are in or wherever you are. The ecosystem around us always pushes the urgency and importance of living your life with a partner and not alone.
I agree – it’s always great to have a companion in life. Someone with whom you can share everything. Your joy, your sorrow, your vulnerability, your strength. When you are single you do miss getting pampered, being loved, sitting in someone’s lap, talking your heart out and intimacy with your partner. But what if you haven’t found one yet? Or you haven’t been with the one yet?
What you do when you are single and solo? Yes, you do have friends but they also have their limitations. Friends have their own priorities. Now one option is to keep crying and feeling sad about your situation or just get out of your bed and start living your life the way you always want to, with or without anyone!
Spending hours reading your favorite books, sitting at a sea shore without other’s company, watching movies in theater with single ticket, eating in your favorite restaurant alone, planning your travel trips, wandering with yourself, exploring places and living life at your own pace and your own will is not easy and not for everyone. It requires immense self-love, patience, self-confidence and ability to ignore unwanted gyaan from outer world. You only enjoy it if you truly fit in – and if you fit in – that’s the best experience you can have in this world (equivalent to enlightenment, I guess!)
Having a right life partner can definitely be icing on a cake. It can make your life richer. Sharing your experiences with someone else can make those memories more beautiful (conditioning to have a ‘right’ partner). But the point is if you don’t have one or if you don’t want to find the one – in that case too let’s not wait for moments of happiness come to you. Let’s create them! Let’s celebrate our own existence and let’s not fabricate by being someone who we are not. Work hard, earn and spend on your own pleasure! You have all the rights to spend your hard earned money to please your own self. Travel, buy things you like, get pampered in beauty saloons, click selfies and upload on your walls, do everything you wish to and you can. Don’t be shameful to visit honeymoon destinations without a partner!
Yes, you will need to lick your own wounds. You need to rely completely on self-support. There will be people who’ll consider your celebration as fabrication. Be ready to face it.
Being single you may miss kissing someone’s lips – but you can surely kiss your life – today, now, just as it is and for as long as you wish to 🙂
Again, there is no right and wrong in this world. In the absence of universal truth, your body and soul are your own experimental laboratories. Experiment with them. You may succeed, you may fail. But there is only one life we have. Love it! Live it! Embrace the moment when someone comes in (if at all) – till then stop waiting and start celebrating your solitude, your own existence ❤